6 Degrees of Separation

The Set Up:

A good friend of mine from growing up sent me an instant message yesterday. He has recently signed up for a facebook account, and was hit up by several people at once to be his "friend." When looking at their profiles, most everyone, even people not from Charleston, were already friends with me. What can you say, I'm kind of a big deal. Anway, the following was BOBBED.

The BOBBED Quote:

"You are the Kevin Bacon of facebook!"

Cowboy Troy Takes Ride On The Soul Train

The Set Up

A man who deeply resembles Cowboy Troy walks in to a bar. He orders a drink and begins making small talk with some of the regulars. He's from Mingo county and talks like he has a mouthful of shit. But I digress. The studly bar manager says to the bartender, "Cuz, shots for you, me, C, BGW, and Hibzzzz!" Cuz does as he is told...

The Bobbin'

Cowboy Troy: "Hey, man, what about me?"
Bar Manager: "What about you?"
Cowboy Troy: "Don't I get a shot?"
Bar Manager: "This ain't Soul Train. You can't just jump on whenever you want!"

Meeting Chicks At The Men's Shelter

The Set Up:

This conversation actually just happened....I'm dying here. This particular child is thrown out of the house regularly. No one knows if he is really being thrown out or if the events are happening inside his head. It really is sad, but this was just too funny.

The Bobbed Quote:

J (a rather slow child): Yeah, C, I got thrown outta my house
again last night. Not sure where I'm gonna go this time.

C: That sucks, J. Why don't you go to the men's shelter?

J: (Angry) That totally defeats the point. How am I suppose to meet girls at
the men's shelter?

Butch

The Set Up:

BGW and the regulars were at Sam's this Sunday having yet another of their famous Sunday Fundays. A group of lesbians walked in the door. They were having a good time. They caught BGW's eye.

The BOBBED Quote:

BGW: "C, I'm glad you ain't no butch. I mean, I couldn't look at you the same if you were."

C: "Ok."

BGW: "But let me ask you this...if you were butch, what would you do? Really, what would you do?"

C: "Date really hot chicks."

BGW: "Good point. I want to do a study on them."

The T&A Truck Stop in Teays Valley

The Set Up:

This week the ball park in town opened up. It is Charleston's greatest outdoor bar. It was 2 for Tuesday. PG, DT, and I had too much fun. We ended up at a Truck Stop in Teays Valley. However, we called TH to see if she wanted to go with us. PG did the talking.

The BOBBED Quote:

PG: "It's a Truck Stop, but really it's a nice place."

The Suppository or The Laxative

THE SET UP:

C's 4th block class is filled with primarily boys that she has had in class before. Frequently you can find C eavesdropping on conversations that she probably shouldn't be listening to at all. This is a quote that came from one of those moments. It was said and then displayed as a GMail Status.

The BOBBED QUOTE:

C: was recently quoted as saying, "you aren't going to put something up your butt if you can't get anything out of your butt to begin with." -was explaining the difference between a laxative and a suppository to a fourth block student. -also wishes that the boys in 4th Block would quit farting.

Syndromes

The Set Up:

Sunday Fun Day. The Cold Spot. Multiple Pitchers. NTN Trivia. Conversations about the monthly visitor of women. The men at the table made a gross generalizaton about the correlation between woman being bitchy and their periods.

The Bobbed Quote:

C: I don't need my period to be a bitch. I'm a bitch all the time. PMS. I AM MY OWN SYNDROME!